Original Email No. 8 - An Index from Ireland to Oxford

Hello again, Everyone!

I'm really torn here... do I write another six page email? Heaven knows I have material enough! Or, do I try to keep it short and sweet- for those of you who have not yet recovered from my last one? I haven't received much for complaints as to the length of my emails (Accept for poor Amanda, but she doesn't count), and I do know there are a few of you who actually read all the way through these, much less enjoy them... so for your sake, I'll fill in all the details, as I may. *e-wink*.
Unfortunately, there is so much to tell, and it is very late tonight, so I'll just write a quick overview tonight and then add some meat to these paragraphic bones as I have time throughout the week. (I know! An entire week of emails! Aren't you all so excited?) Actually, this should work out quite well. For those of you who are content to say to yourselves "Oh, how lovely, she saw Stonehenge!" but are not at all interested in the fact that there are over 170 types of lichen on the stones, collectively, then please, feel free to read just my Travel Index (which is what I have decided to call this particular letter) and delete all the rest, but for those of you who ARE interested to know that we saw Stonehenge at sunset, and that for all its sacred history, it is perfectly circled by an overpass highway, please, read on.

Alright, now that I have already exhausted your vision and your concentration with my E-structions... the Travel Index! (*drumroll*). Listed in Chronological, and thus simply logical, order...


The Ferry System: Neighboring Passenger Suffers Severe Sea Sickness. (Need I say more?)

The Train System: Rowdy Middle-Schoolers Attack Seat-Thieving Little Old Men... Pandemonium Ensues.

Also on The Train System: Party of Five Celebrate Lady's Birthday by Opening Bottle of Champagne while Riding the Rattling Train. (This proves to be a VERY bad idea. Can anyone say "POP, fizz"? Better yet... "POP, fizzle?")

Bristol: Family Spends Night in the Only Skyscraper in a One Mile's Radius. (Highly amusing. No pun intended. Impossible to lose sight of hotel.)

Also in Bristol: Family Visit John Wesley's Chapel. (The church ladies served us cakes and coffee. Nice to know that Methodist church ladies are the same world wide!)

Leaving Bristol: More on 'The Train System'... An extended essay on "The Strange People that Sit Next to Us on Trains."

Cottage stay in the Cotswold: Family Surrounded by Sheep. (The Cottage was my dream come true!!!) Sub-titled: Barnyard Chickens Brutally Attacked by Rubber Snake. (Trust me, it's not as complicated as the title implies.)

Also in the Cotswold: Family's Mother Learns Backwards English Driving... with a Stick Shift.

Day Trips from the Cotswold: Stonehenge, Cirenchester, Glouschester, Glastonbury, and Bath. Sub-Title: Danger Signs around Bath Healing Water warn: "Drinking May Cause Severe Sickness".
Also from the Day Trips: Family's Children Kneel Before Glastonbury's Supposed Grave of King Arthur. Mother and Daughter Fall in Love with Bath's Jane Austen Centre.

On "Leaving the Cottage": More Trains. An extended essay on "Odds Bodikins!!! How Many More Strange People can we MEET in the Metro???"

Finally...
Oxford: Oxford Round Table Reception and Dinner... Success! (Among those we've met so far are a WWII vet, Gracie Lou Freebush, and a number of other fun and interesting people.)

Also from Oxford: Girl Discovers Internet Access from Dorm. Subtitle: Confusing and Incomplete Travel Index is Formulated and Distributed. Caption: United Kingdom Government Imprisons Girl for Severely Abusing English Language and Grammar. Trial Pending: Charges Include: "Use of Invented words such as "schoolers", "paragraphic", and "E-structions"... also for the misuse/abuse of the words "Travel Index".



I think that just about covers it for my poor, dear Travel Index. As I said, I'm going to fill in the details later, but I just thought I'd give you a taste of what's to come. It's a lot like one of those restaurant menus where first they list the title of the selection, and then some of the actual food it includes? Well, just like one those menus, I'm required to give warnings, so, for the record, none of these emails are meant to be read by people with nut allergies! They are also known to get a little cheesy, with a lot of dry humor, and some crumbly grammar, though some parts can be awfully sweet.

Alright, I'd better let you all go now, before anyone drowns in my sappy puns... too many CAN be unhealthy!
Goodnight everyone, much love, take care. I hope your summers are going well and that everything over there is just peachy. Sleep tight! Sweet dreams!

-Sara Swenson