Original Email No. 3.5 - To France!

P.S. Did I mention I got frisked at the French-British border for having chapstick in my pocket? Yes, those Chapstick bombs are pesky, indeed. Actually, it was Burt's Bees in a tin container, but they still gave me the cop's version of a fully body massage. I swear, my name's on a list somewhere... there is no other way on Earth or in Purgatory that I could have this much trouble with Airplane/Train/You-name-it Security!!!